It’s always a joy to watch the lovable Mr. Hulot up to his antics. (Fans of “Mr. Bean” will love him, too.) His last film, "Trafic” is marginally about taking (or trying to) Hulot’s latest car design, a sort of campmobile, to a car show.

There are some throwaway shots of the car being converted into its various configurations, including bumpers that pull out into seats and the front grill that converts to a, well, grill, of course.

It got me to thinking about some old Popular Mechanics magazines (from the late 1940s) that used to float around the art department at one of the community colleges that I attended many long years ago. These magazines had the first examples I ever saw of cooking on the exhaust manifold of your car (which, when written, had engine compartments the size of a bistro, anyway.) They were pretty funny, despite their earnestness, giving some good meat loaf recipes and describing how to cook chicken for something like 75 miles on a side. (Remember, this far pre-dated any such thing as franchised food, and motels were known as “Motor Courts”....)

Our beloved, indispensable web is now rife with such recipes (even though today’s engine compartments can hardly accommodate a couple of Vienna sausages), sometimes referred to as “Carbecue,” to wit:"The Heat Is On"and a segment from "Real Food"

and, well, it’s a whole new year out there!
To be honest, it looks a lot like the old one we just left: cold and gray, typical for aboveground Downtown California. We’re not high-altitude enough to get snow, nor are we far south enough for it to be warm all the time. So we get fog and rain, with enough breaks to take the dog out for a ramble.
Recently, we went further afield, even (dogless!), and visited the beautiful Conservatory of Flowers in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. (not to be confused with the Strybing Arboretum, another worthwhile trip). Modeled on the conservatory of England’s Kew Gardens, it’s a little spot of the tropics in the middle of San Francisco.
There’s a special exhibit there right now, a garden railroad in one of the rooms, with iconic SF buildings as part of the layout. The coolest thing about the buildings is that they’re made of recycled parts: computer keyboards, old cereal boxes, mahjongg tiles. There are sound effects to go with them.
If model railroads aren’t your thing, there are plenty of other attractions at the Conservatory (plus the chance to pretend you’re in Hawaii for a little while). Among the wonders we saw: bananas on a banana tree, a coffee plant with beans on it, and a surprising number of blooming orchids. (The Slc. “Rojos” in our Grotteaux greenhouse bloom around February each year, but at the moment they’re just setting flower spikes and hanging out amongst the ficus trees, just like us.)
The Conservatory has various rooms representing various plant habitats from lowlands tropics to highland rainforest, and the climate in each room feels distinctly different. The plants are robust and healthy, reflecting the world-class care they get, and the entire place is laid out like a garden: it’s not just plants on shelves. The interpretive displays are awesome, and have elements to please all ages.
Of course, the plant shapes and colors got us to thinking, how can we interpret these in glass? Of course......
There are carnivorous plants, too. And if you’re carnivorous yourself, you might enjoy this recipe (if you can call it that; it’s more of an idea and a method) for grilled pork roast. You can often find these roasts on sales for not much over a dollar a pound, and they work beautifully in the kettle grill. Our grill is an ancient charcoal-using one with most of the vent covers broken, and it even works in that.

WEBERED PORK ROAST

The thing here about studding the roast with garlic is that one of us doesn’t tolerate the stinking rose well, although loving the taste. Combining the herbs with the garlic marks the spot so the cloves can be avoided, and yet flavors the nearby meat in an acceptable manner. [The Ralph: this is not only greatly appreciated by me, but by friends, neighbors and everyone downwind]
If your grill is a charcoal one, start the fire before you start prepping the roast.

1 pork butt or shoulder roast, 3+ pounds
1 head fresh garlic
Any green herbs you prefer (sage is especially good)

Take the roast out of the fridge a couple of hours before starting the charcoal fire. It will cook faster and more evenly if it starts out at room temperature (but be sure to park it somewhere that the resourceful and motivated dog can't reach......)

Separate the garlic head into cloves, smash the cloves with the side of a knife and remove the skins, then cut into slivers (about a half or a third of each clove).
Coarsely chop the green herbs.

With the point of a sharp knife, cut slits into the roast at intervals all over the surface -- depth doesn’t matter that much, but mine tend to be 1-1-1/2 inches. Grab a garlic sliver and about the same size wad of herbs and poke into each slit until the garlic is used up, the roast is evenly studded, or when you get bored, whichever comes first. (Particularly rabid garlic lovers will probably have something resembling a hedgehog at this point.)

Start a charcoal fire on the charcoal grate with enough briquettes to last 2-3 hours (check the bag). When the coals are about 75 percent covered in gray ash, separate them into two piles opposite each other. The idea is to make a space so the roast is not directly over any coals -- this is indirect charcoal grilling.

Place the roast on the grilling rack, over the empty space. You can put a drip pan under the roast, although we usually just let the meat drip into the ashes we haven’t cleaned out of the thing.
Cover the grill, adjust the vents so you just see a trail of smoke coming out, and leave for at least 90 minutes. Allow about 20 minutes per pound, although that’s only a general guideline ... meat actually cooks according to thickness, not weight.

Add a few briquets occasionally, if it appears necessary, but you don't really need an inferno.
Test with an instant read meat thermometer when you figure the time is about right. The meat should be about 160 degrees everywhere you test.

Our roast usually spends the last 10 or 15 minutes in the bbq with some of the prunings from our Golden Delicious apple tree tossed onto the fading coals, to add a delectable smokiness to it. (Since the tree has to get pruned every year, we have a giddily renewable resource, and it doesn't need to be composted or go to a landfill, yay!)

Remove roast when it’s done and let rest for a few minutes before slicing. You’ll have dinner tonight, plus wonderful meat for sandwiches, pasta, omelets or whatever you like, for several more days.

(We finally found that cask of 'Special' Sarsaparilla that we had put away to age so long ago; it's at least old enough to get married now!)
Now is a great time to relfect on the year's ups and downs (and, in our case, a wee bit o' sideways, too) and to help make sure that some of that stuff happens again as often as possible.(And, of course, there's that other stuff, too.........) We intend more exploration and mapping expeditions into some of the as-of-yet unexplored regions of the grotteaux.

See ya next year (which isn't all that far off) with more fun!

is transformed into a sort of gritty, industrial-glam holiday palace (my kind of place!), where roam elves on stilts, Santa on a bicycle and even a strolling accordionist, who knew just when to break into "The Teddy Bears' Picnic" to entertain small fry.

The Crucible's studios were open for demonstrations of many of the crafts you can study there, from blacksmithing to, yes, lampworking glass beads.

One of my very favorite parts of doing shows, honestly, is just chatting up the customers and potential customers. It's so much fun when someone walks by our display and breaks into a smile, or does a double take at the green, bug-eyed monsters staring out at them. When someone gets it about your art, it's so satisfying - whether they adopt a piece to take home or not. And it's especially fun to see folks who have taken home our work before, expressing delight at the new critters populating the Monsters' Opera.

On top of that, there are always a few customers who say, "Hey, you know what you should do?" and proceed to give us great ideas. Those ideas go directly into our notebooks and eventually onto the big white boards located in strategic spots in the Grotteaux. Now that the shows are over for the year, we'll be going into R&D mode to come up with new works.

But first! The holidays. And a recipe.

WHITE CHOCOLATE PEPPERMINT BARK

Like so many of the recipes I like, the quantities of this are subject to eyeballing. The quantities below are estimates; if you like more peppermint pieces or less, adjust accordingly.

...1 pound good-quality white chocolate

...16 hard peppermint candies (or a few candy canes, if they're the ones that taste good as well as looking cute - otherwise just hang those things on the tree and use eating-quality candy)

Break the candy into chunks by placing in a plastic bag and tapping with a rolling pin or meat tenderizer. Don't pulverize it; you want attractive chunks.Pick out the chunks for use in the bark, leving the powdery stuff behind.

Place the white chocolate in pieces in a large microwave-safe container and heat AT 50% POWER ONLY for 30 seconds at a time. Check carefully after the first couple of minutes, to make sure the chocolate isn't burning. When you melt chocolate in the microwave, it tends to keep its shape even when it's actually melted, so stir it to check. White chocolate is more temperamental than brown, and can harden easily with overheating.

When the chocolate has melted, stir in the peppermint chunks. Immediately spread on wax paper to harden. When the candy has set, break into pieces (bite-size or bigger, depending on the size of your bite). Try to leave some to give to friends; it's not easy, though.....

This peppermint bark is great to bring to a dessert potluck, or to wrap prettily in clear wrap, tie with a gold ribbon, and give as a gift.

This bark is definitely better than a bite!

talking about.....? Ok, you get the idea. My latest delvation into audio books is "The Orchid Thief" by Susan Orlean, and I can't put it down. (and that's not just because my hands are full of glass already, it's actually quite fascinating. So far (and I'm only about a third of the way through it) I want to liken Orlean's style to falling somewhere in between James Burke's marvelous series of some year back "Connections" and Melville's "Moby Dick." * More fascinating minutiae about the plants themselves and the history of orchid collecting and cultivating than you can shake a stick at. (and if you're not a stick-shaking devotee, you still stand a pretty good chance of enjoying it.) And, if what you are hearing doesn't exactly wind your watch, just give it a minute, and you will be hooked once more.
I also find Orlean's style to be somewhat akin to Mary Roach's works, filled with wonderful sidebars and distractions, much like life here among the caverns and grotteaux (and their exciting denizens.)
The subject matter has also helped inspire me to practically lash myself to the torch and turn out a lot of glass poppies (pix to follow.)

(in a low, grim, whispered voice in the back of my head):

Listening to a lot of Brother Jack McDuff...
...and torching away, carried off into the thin air by the rhythms of his Hammond B3.

Thanksgiving is bearing down upon us like a runaway truck full of turkeys, but everything seems to suggest food. Good food. and not one bite of it on a stick (see earlier entries, oh yeah.)
Marinated turkeys this year? (And what to serve them? No, dear, I'm not talking about our family this time.....)
Plenty to be thankful for this year, including some stuff that one might not usually think of in a positive vein. Losing a job, maybe? Nope; we call the time that it provides as "Funemployment." Art classes abound, and finally time to take advantage of them!
Also, a wonderful opportunity to go hiking amongst the redwoods with our local Boy Scouts (accessorized by the local Cub Scout Pack - what terrific enthusiasm they bring to anything!)
And what does one find near the coastal redwoods? The coast, of course! West Marin (an important ingredient in Downtown California) provides such beautiful scenery this time of year; lush greenery, contented dairy cows (and wonderful French-style cheeses as a most welcome side effect) and, some of our favorites: oyster farms!
Listening to some good music while navigating the winding narrow road between Marshall and Petaluma and pausing at the summit to peer back over our shoulders at the setting sun over Tomales Bay - nothing short of magical!
Heading back to the grotteaux with our lush booty of baguettes, etc. we can't help but notice that everything in the farmland around us appears wonderfully edible (except for what they are deliberately growing): wild mushrooms, venison, wild turkeys, geese.....

Ok, at this point Thanksgiving is looking downright tolerable! We wish you and yours the same!

Just like finding time to do anything else, if you make art, you need time not just for production but time to think, dream, try stuff, find out it doesn’t work, try other stuff, find out that doesn’t work but maybe has some redeeming feature that you can use, and finally find your way.

Then, of course, there’s the thing that happens when you finally have the time ... but you don’t want to work on the current project. Or you’re suddenly on fire to try something quite different. Or - the worst - you have no ideas or inspiration. Different artists deal with this in different ways: forcing themselves to plow ahead with what’s already on the board, making notes on the new idea and promising themselves they’ll take that up later, or looking through art or costume books for inspiration. In severe cases, maybe they decide their art mission for the day is to go out in the garden, go for a hike or visit a museum. Anything that “untracks” the mind and allows the subconscious to get to work again.

Cooking sometimes works, too. Here’s a recipe for butternut squash that we enjoyed last night:

BAKED BUTTERNUT SQUASH
Serves 4-6

OK, you do know that when we say “butternut squash” you can substitute “acorn squash” or really, any kind of winter squash.
(The Ralph: but not the game played on a court, so there! OK, back to The Deborah:)
Winter squash being the ones with the hard shell; summer squash being anything of the zucchini persuasion. Yes, that means pumpkin. But we really, really like the taste of butternut squash. And it couldn’t be easier to prepare.

1 butternut squash
Butter or olive oil

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cut the squash in half lengthwise (you’ll need a big, sharp knife for this: the shell is tough; and for heaven’s sake, be careful, because it’ll tend to roll on the cutting board ... you do use a cutting board, right? And remember to stay out of your own line of fire - sound advice for most of life, too.).

With a sturdy tablespoon or ice cream scoop, scrape out the seeds and squash guts; set aside for roasting later (see end of recipe).

Coat the cut sides of the squash with the butter or olive oil, and place the squash halves cut side down in a baking pan. Place in oven and bake for 45-60 minutes. You can tell because the shell will have browned patches on it, but won’t be charred. And you’ll be able to pierce the shell easily with the point of a paring knife.

Remove the squash from the oven and let cool a bit. Serve either simply sliced, or puree/mash with a potato masher, adding butter and/or cream. Or drizzle with maple syrup. (If you use maple syrup, also try sprinkling toasted, chopped almonds, hazelnuts or walnuts on it ... yum! Just the aroma of the roasting squash and toasting nuts will drive everyone in your house, well, nuts - buttery or otherwise.)

Tips: If you want to make the entire dinner simply, do what we did the other night: In a large roasting pan, bake the squash along with chicken pieces. Dry the chicken really well so the skin will be crispy (that’s a tip from Thomas Keller, owner of the French Laundry in Yountville, Calif.). Season with your favorite seasoning (we like Mrs. Dash) and place skin side up in the pan (the chicken, not Mrs. Dash, poor dear.) Nestle the squash halves next to the chicken and forget about them for about an hour. The chicken should test at 160 degrees in the leg or thigh, and the extra baking time won’t hurt the squash. The chicken fat and juices will flavor the squash, the squash sweetness will make the chicken taste even better. All you need besides this is a green salad, a loaf of sourdough bread and a nice, crisp white wine.

Like soup? If you have leftover squash, it’s still good the next day. But if you want to make a great soup, do this: Heat 2 tablespoons butter in a large saucepan, and add 1 chopped shallot or 2-3 minced garlic cloves, plus a few springs fresh thyme (or a teaspoon or so of dried thyme). Let sweat on low heat until the shallot or garlic is translucent. Puree the cooked squash in a blender or food processor or with a potato ricer, and add to the butter-shallot mixture. Add chicken broth (about 2 cups homemade or a can of, um, canned). Heat through. Serve hot. Enjoy, and appreciate the fact that, while Winter may sometimes be dreary, you can't have delicious stuff like this without it!